KIDS SAY THE HONEST-EST THINGS

When I was six months pregnant with my third

Child, my three year old came into the room when

I was just getting ready to get into the shower.

She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!"

I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a

baby growing in her tummy."

"I know," she replied, "but what is growing in

your butt?"

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IT'S A DOG'S LIFE

It was the end of the day when I parked my

Police van in front of the station. As I gathered

my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was

barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me.

"Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked.

"It sure is," I replied.

Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards

the back of the van.

Finally he said, "What'd he do?"

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WHY WE LOVE CHILDREN

A small boy is sent to bed by his father.

Five minutes later....

"Da-ad...."

"What?"

"I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?"

"No. You had your chance. Lights out."

Five minutes later:"Da-aaaad....."

"WHAT?"

"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"

"I told you NO!" If you ask again, I'll have

to spank you!!"

Five minutes later......"Daaaa-aaaad....."

'WHAT!"

"When you come in to spank me, can you bring a

drink of water?"

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An exasperated mother, whose son was always

getting into mischief, finally asked him, "How do you

expect to get into Heaven?" The boy thought it over

and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and

out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter

says, "For Heaven's sake, Jimmy, come in or stay out!"

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One summer evening during a violent

thunderstorm a mother was tucking

her son into bed. She was about to turn off

the light when he asked with a

tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep

with me tonight?"

The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring

hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in

Daddy's room." A long silence was broken at

last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy."

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It was that time, during the Sunday morning

service, for the children's sermon. All the children

were invited to come forward. One little girl was

wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat

down, the pastor leaned over and said, "That

is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?"

The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on

microphone, "Yes, and my Mom says it's a bitch to iron."

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Finding one of her students making faces at

others on the playground, Mrs. Smith stopped

to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the

teacher said, "Bobby, when I was a child, I was

told that if I made ugly faces, it would freeze and

I would stay like that." Bobby looked up and replied,

"Well, Mrs. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned."

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