Guy Rules:


 Do you know why there are no Wal-Marts in Afghanistan?
 
 Guy Rules: Thought this might make you laugh!
 
   We always hear "the rules" from the feminine side. OK - we now hear
   the  guys' side. These are our rules! Please note ... these are all
   numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
  
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
  
1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if
   we can find the perfect present yet again!
  
1. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
  
1. Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared
   to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, and NASCAR.
  
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
   tides. Let it be.
  
1. Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it
 that way.
  
   1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
 Really.
  
   1. Crying is blackmail.
  
   1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints
   do not work.  Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work.
   Just say it!
  
   1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a
   calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
  
   1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think
   we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look
   good with your dress?
  
   1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
question.
  
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
  
   1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
  
   1. Check your own oil! Please.
  
   1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.  In
   fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
  
   1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the
   ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
  
   1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.
  
   1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
   done -- not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it
   yourself.
  
   1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
 commercials.
  
   1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
  
   1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two
   months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your
   girlfriends.
  
   1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
   Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
   We have no idea what mauve is.
  
   1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
  
   1 We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of
   mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
  
   1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
   nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
   hassle.
  
   1. I'm in shape. ROUND is a shape.
  
   Spotted in a safari park:
   Elephants Please Stay in Your Car.