|
| | Jokes
Understanding Engineers - Take One
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one
said, "Where
did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along
yesterday minding
my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike.
She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and
said, "Take
what you want."
The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the
clothes probably
wouldn't have fit."
-----------------------------------------------------
Understanding Engineers - Take Two
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the
glass is
half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it
needs to be.
-----------------------------------------------------
Understanding Engineers - Take Three
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning
for a
particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed,
"What's with these
guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen
such ineptitude!"
The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper.
Let's have a word
with
him."
[dramatic pause] "Hi George, say, what's with that group
ahead of us?
They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of
blind firefighters
lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year,
so we always
let them play for free anytime."
The group was silent for a moment. The pastor said,
"That's so sad. I
think
I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my
ophthalmologist
buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at
night?"
-----------------------------------------------------
Understanding Engineers - Take Four
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing
the possible
designers of the human body. One said, "It was a
mechanical engineer. Just
look at all the joints."
Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The
nervous system has
many thousands of electrical connections."
The last said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who
else would run a
toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
--------------------------------------------------
Understanding Engineers - Take Five
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing
whether it was
better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The
architect said he
enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an
enduring
relationship.
The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of
the passion
and mystery he found there.
The engineer said, "I like both."
"Both?"
Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they
will each assume
you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to
the lab and
get some work done."
---------------------------------------------------
Understanding Engineers - Take Six
An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out
to him and
said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful
princess." He bent over,
picked up ! the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke
up again and
said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful
princess, I will
stay with you for one week."
The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and
returned it
to the pocket.
The frog then cried out,
"If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll
stay with you and
do
ANYTHING you want."
Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it
back into
his
pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter?
I've told you I'm a
beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do
anything you
want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look I'm an engineer. I don't have
time for a
girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."
|
