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Subject: Quotes & Mottoes

Politicians are people who, when they see the light at the end of the tunnel, order more tunnel. -John Quintan

She believes in nothing; only her skepticism kept her from being an athiest. -Jean-Paul Satre

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out. -Erma Bombeck

I'm a light eater. As soon as it's light, I start to eat.-Art Donovan

Where I come from, the vallies are so narrow, dogs have to wag their tail up and down. -Sam Snead

Vote for the man who promises the least. He will be the least disappointing. -Bernard Baruch

The man who writes the bank's advertising slogan is not the same man who makes the loans. -George Coote

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NEW STATE MOTTOES

Alabama: Hell Yes, We Have Lectricity

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Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!

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Arizona: But It's A Dry Heat

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Arkansas: Litercy Ain't Everthin

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California: By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda

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Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother

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Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, But The Kennedy's Don't Own It-Yet

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Delaware: We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water

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Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids

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Georgia: We Put The "Fun" In Fundamentalist Extremism

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Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland Scum, But Leave

Your Money)

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Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes ... Well, Okay We're Not, But The Potatoes

Sure Are Good

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Illinois: Please Don't Pronounce the "S"

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Indiana: 2 Billion Years, Tidal Wave Free

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Iowa: We Do Amazing Things With Corn

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Kansas: We're Not Square, We're Rectangular

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Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names

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Louisiana: We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign

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Maine: It's Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster

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Maryland: If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It

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Massachusetts: Our taxes are less Than Sweden's (For Most Tax Brackets)

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Michigan: First Line Of Defense From The Canadians

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Minnesota: 10,000 Lakes... And 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes

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Mississippi: Come And Feel Better About Your Own State

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Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work

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Montana: Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-wing Crazies And Very

Little Else

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Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest

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Nevada: Hookers and Poker!

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New Hampshire: Go Away And Leave Us Alone

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New Jersey: You Want A ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here!

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New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent pets

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New York: You Have The Right To Remain Silent, You Have The Right To An

Attorney ...

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North Carolina: Tobacco Is A Vegetable

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North Dakota: We Really Are One Of The 50 States!

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Ohio: At Least We're Not Michigan

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Oklahoma: Like The Play, Only No Singing

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Oregon: Spotted Owl... It's What's For Dinner

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Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal

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Rhode Island: We're Not REALLY An Island

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South Carolina: Remember The Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender

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South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota

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Tennessee: The Educashun State

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Texas: Si' Hablo Ing'les (Yes, I Speak English)

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Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus

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Vermont: Yup

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Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?

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Washington: Help! We're Overrun By Nerds And Slackers!

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Washington, D.C.: Wanna Be Mayor?

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West Virginia: One Big Happy Family... Really!

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Wisconsin: Come Cut The Cheese

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Wyoming: Where Men Are Men ... and the sheep are scared